Thursday, July 7, 2005

HOLLYWOOD CHAINSAW HOOKERS

A wildly hysterical T&A horror comedy from cult exploitation director Fred Olen Ray, HOLLYWOOD CHAINSAW HOOKERS is one of those rare ultra-low-budget sexploitation flicks that actually deserves its status as a camp classic. It's full of beautiful naked girls, deliberately lame dialogue, and cartoonish gore. Basically, if you like the title, you'll probably dig the movie. Maxim Magazine (I only buy it for the articles) called HOOKERS "The Fourth Coolest B-Movie of all time," and there are times, usually after a six pack or so, when I'd agree with that assessment.

A down-and-out L.A. private eye with the remarkably clever sobriquet of Jack Chandler (well-played in a tongue-in-cheek manner by Richardson), is hired to find a missing young woman (Eighties Scream Queen Quigley). His search leads him to the titular streetwalkers ("They charge an arm and a leg!"), members of – and I kid you not – an ancient Egyptian chainsaw-worshipping cult. In a nice touch, the high priest of the cult is played, rather blandly, by Gunnar Hansen, who originated the character of "Leatherface" in the original TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE.

Highlights of this one-time late night cable staple include delightfully bad Private Eye voice-overs ("The kid talked like a frosted flake, but she had the nicest set of knockers I'd seen in a long time."), a buxom hooker who lovingly covers her treasured Elvis memorabilia in plastic sheeting before taking a chainsaw to her unsuspecting john, topless fire-eating (!), and the climactic "ritual virgin dance of the double chainsaws."

The director released Hookers on his own Retromedia DVD label, as part of the "Fred Olen Ray's Nite-Owl Theater" collection, a couple years ago. The disc includes an introduction, hosted by Ray himself, from his "palatial Hollywood mansion." He's joined by his wife, the buxom Ms. Kim, and a pair of starlets who play topless Twister while the director puffs away on a cigar and drinks a martini. The disk also includes a "Making Of…" featurette which includes videotaped interviews with scream queens Quigley and Bauer, the theatrical trailer for the film's brief drive-in run, and trailers for several of Ray's other movies (ANGEL EYES and FATAL JUSTICE).

The film itself is presented in a matted, widescreen aspect ratio, and while the image is a bit soft and there's a slight grain evident, this can be attributed to the film's shoestring budget. Overall, the presentation is fine, the extras are politically incorrect fun, and if this is the sort of movie you like, you'll probably be quite happy with this DVD. It's well-worth hunting down.

BUY: Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers

BUY: Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers 20th Anniversary Edition