Wednesday, April 26, 2006

THE SCORNED

Reality TV performers (I refuse to call them "stars," or even, based on the evidence in this film, "personalities") meet much-deserved demises in the new Anchor Bay release THE SCORNED (2005).

At a Malibu beach house, a guy (Bob Guiney, THE BACHELOR) cheats on his fiancée (Trish Schneider, THE BACHELOR) with her maid of honor (Trishelle Cannatella, THE REAL WORLD). There's a violent argument that ends with the fiancée face down in a whirlpool bath with her throat cut. A year or so later, some slacker types (Steven Hill, THE REAL WORLD, Jenna Lewis, SURVIVOR and Jonny Fairplay, SURVIVOR) move in, only to find themselves and their friends haunted and killed by the fiancée's vengeful spirit.

God, what agony.

More a novelty act rather than a real horror film, THE SCORNED sucks on virtually ever level. (And people say I never give a bad review!) Slow, boring and unbelievably corny, never have 87 minutes felt quite so interminable. The horror film genre is not noted for fine acting, but this cast of no-talent wannabes brings the genre to a new low. The special effects are decidedly non-special and the writing is painfully trite.

The only reason to buy or rent this thing is if, God help you, you're an undemanding fan of reality TV. And if you are one of those unfortunate souls, it's the second disc of this two-platter special edition that will really be of interest to you.

Disc 2 features a video interview with director Robert Kubilos wherin he dishes dirt on the various reality "stars" and how difficult they were to work with. Then, we get some outtakes and footage of on-set fighting among the cast. There's also a tedious and unfunny "History of Reality TV" featurette, cast audition footage, and promos for the KILL REALITY series on E! Television, which chronicled the making of THE SCORNED. There's more, including a "Member's Only" locked extra, but that's all I could bear to watch. I see enough self-important jerks in real life.

Anchor Bay presents THE SCORNED in a sharp, full frame transfer and 5.1 Dolby Surround sound. It looks and sounds fine. Aside from the extras above, there's also an "outrageous" commentary track by the director on disc one.

If you're a reality TV addict, then you might enjoy seeing these people try and make a movie. If you're a horror fan or film buff, avoid this at all costs.

BUY: The Scorned