Tuesday, September 14, 2010

TITANIC II

Despite the deliberately misleading title, TITANIC II (2010) is in no way a sequel (authorized or otherwise) to James Cameron's overbloated and overrated box office blockbuster. It is, instead, another cut-rate disaster flick from the inmates of The Asylum.

On the Centennial anniversary of the original voyage, a modern luxury liner christened Titanic II, recreates the Atlantic crossing of its legendary namesake. But when the melting polar icecap drops a gigantic chunk of ice into the sea and causes a tsunami that hurls an ice berg into the new ship, history repeats itself. As the ship founders, passengers and crew struggle to survive....

Directed by and starring Shane Van Dyke (6 GUNS), TITANIC II is chock full of the usual Asylum ingredients - familiar-sounding title, undercooked script, under-rendered CGI effects, under-performing actors and an utterly ludicrous central premise - but, unlike some of their films, the ingredients never come together in an entertaining way. It's not quite as bad as, say MEGAFAULT, but it's pretty damned difficult to sit through.

Bruce Davison (X-MEN) and Brooke Burns (BAYWATCH, NORTH SHORE) are the top-billed and most recognizable cast members, and they never personally interact with any of the rest of the cast, playing their roles entirely in front of a greenscreen or on a fake helicopter set. The actual lead is Van Dyke, who plays the owner of the ship, who heroically tries to save his ex-girlfriend (pretty Marie Westbrook, 100 MILLION B.C.) as the boat goes down. Some of the film was clearly shot on a real cruise ship (with a particularly ratty looking bunch of extras in tee-shirts and jeans, not one of whom looked like they could actually afford to go on a cruise), but a lot of it looks pretty threadbare.

The Asylum's DVD features a 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen transfer and both 5.1 Surround and 2.0 Digital Stereo. Bonus features include the usual "Making Of" featurette, gag reel, and trailers for other Asylum features.

Regular readers of this site know that I actually enjoy some of the Asylum's low-budget mockbusters and monster movies, but TITANIC II isn't one of them. I gave it my best shot, but I just can't recommend this one, even for a rental.

BUY: Titanic II