Thursday, March 15, 2012

2-HEADED SHARK ATTACK

Oh, Asylum. With a title like 2-HEADED SHARK ATTACK (2012), how can you go wrong? Well, let's see...

A boatload of college kids on a "semester at sea"-type ocean cruise supervised by Jerry O'Connell's less famous brother, Charlie, and a still-smokin' hot, bikini-clad Carmen Electra, are stranded on a tiny atoll in the middle of one ocean or another when an inexplicably mutated, 2-headed shark violently attacks and cripples their boat. For the next hour or so, the interchangeably attractive (and dramatically untalented) students attempt to travel back and forth between the sinking boat and the sinking atoll, only to be attacked and devoured by the aforementioned dual-domed, aquatic predator.

Directed by MEGA SHARK VS. CROCOSAURUS auteur Christopher Ray (son of B-movie maestro, Fred Olen Ray) from a story/script by Edward DeRuiter and H. Perry Horton, 2-HEADED SHARK ATTACK is, frankly, a disaster.

There's really no plot (just a situation and a series of increasingly absurd contrivances), no characters (just oiled-up hardbody fish food), and no evident rationale for anything that occurs during the flick's 90 minute running time. About the only thing it has going for it is some gorgeous scenery (and I include Ms. Electra and the various distaff coeds in that category) and the undeniably appealing concept of the monster itself. Unfortunately, the critter is realized by way of the usual soulless CGI cartoon, which, as is the norm in these tales, randomly changes size without reason and acts in a manner unknown to any shark in nature. The special effects guys also created a couple of "life-size" rubber shark heads for close-up chomping shots, but they don't match the CGI design very well.

Still, you know, I try to give these flicks a fair shake. So, I was kinda rolling with it, trying to enjoy it as the dumb, Saturday night SyFy monster fish movie it is, until the point where it was revealed that the atoll was sinking because the shark was head(s)-butting it.

Seriously.

The DVD edition of 2-HEADED SHARK ATTACK from The Asylum features a crystal-clear, 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen transfer and 5.1. Surround Sound. As is traditional with Asylum releases, there is also a "Making Of" featurette, a blooper reel, and a slew of trailers for their other recent and upcoming releases. 2-HEADED SHARK ATTACK is also available on Blu-ray, but I haven't seen that edition.

If you can't resist the title - and who could blame you? - catch it for free on TV. All you'll miss from the DVD version is a couple of topless chicks.

BUY: 2 Headed Shark Attack